Do you ever feel disconnected from yourself? Maybe you take yourself by surprise, feel like you aren’t getting anywhere in life, or struggle to recognize yourself and your behavior.
No one wants to feel isolated from others, and it’s even worse when that isolation comes from within. If you’re not in touch with your deeper self, you’ll feel untethered, lost, and confused. Here are seven ways to connect with yourself and your emotions.
1. Regularly Ask Yourself How You Feel
The most obvious way to learn to connect with your feelings, yourself, and your inner state is by actively seeking yourself through questions and self-reflection. Emotions and other internal conditions often stay buried and hidden in your subconscious as you try to focus on your everyday life. Checking in with yourself can provide you with some insight into those more hidden truths.
Set aside sometime every day to introspect and see how you’re doing. Connect to your feelings, bringing them to the forefront instead of leaving them in the background. Just between five and ten minutes can be enough to focus on your psychological state, which can be refreshing for your mind and body.
It’s healthy to care about your emotions. The way you feel communicates if something is wrong, and you’re only going to find out what it is if you pay attention to what your feelings are telling you. Don’t judge yourself for your mental state, and don’t try to invalidate your own emotions – allow them to exist and observe them closely.
Once you’re done mindfully observing how you feel, you can act. Reflect on your emotions, figure out what triggers them, determine what they trigger in turn, then learn how to manage the most difficult and harmful ones.
2. Give Yourself What You Want
You can best connect with yourself and who you are if you learn to get in touch with your desires. While you can’t give yourself everything, there may be plenty of things that you deny yourself that are feasible. So start giving yourself the items you want in life. Here are some tips for doing so:
· Take Note Of Your Needs
Your body and mind have ways of telling you what they need. Unfortunately, learning to listen is a skill, and not everyone realizes they have to pay attention. Get in touch with your physical, mental, and emotional state. Do you need a break? Are you in need of a bit of reward? Do you need to push yourself harder? Find out what you need, and then provide that to yourself with love. You will become more connected to the core of who you are this way.
· Make Time For What You Love
What are your passions and hobbies? What are things that fill you with joy? Make time for them. Most people neglect their loves in favor of more practical endeavors, but that also means you have to lie to yourself about how you want to spend your time. You will isolate yourself from your own emotions and inner soul if you don’t give yourself some time to do what you genuinely love, even if it’s not immediately practical. Your fulfillment is an efficient cause, anyway!
· Don’t Make Commitments Without Your Consent
Confused? How can you make commitments when you’re not consenting? It can happen when you’re not in touch with yourself. If you tend to have trouble saying “no” and automatically say “yes” or try to please those around you, then you may not be actively permitting yourself to refuse. Before you commit, pause and ask yourself if this is what you truly desire, if you feel obligated or forced and if you’re feeling drained or stretched too thin already. You’ll learn to listen easily to yourself over time.
3. Do Some Automatic Writing
Automatic writing is a specific kind of writing that’s even more intuitive and connective than standard reflective journaling. Take any writing implement, whether a computer, mobile device, journal, or notebook, and get going! The trick to automatic writing is, to begin with, a question. For example:
- How am I feeling today?
- What do I need to know today?
- What do I want to tell myself?
- How am I feeling about (incident)?
- What are my true inner desires?
Once you have your question, start writing. Don’t overthink it. The trick is to allow the words to flow out of you without looking back, feeling embarrassed, judging yourself, or censoring your thoughts. It’s a good way to “unstick” any emotions that have been brewing, and it gives you insight into yourself and your emotions.
Expressive writing of this kind has been known to improve positive thinking. It allows you to find the answers you have, express your pent-up feelings, and process complex thoughts.
Treating yourself well means caring for your body and mind in multiple different ways. This is why bad habits, which ultimately involve mistreating yourself, can disconnect you from yourself and your emotions. Think about it; you wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who treated you poorly, so when you’re your own worst enemy, it’s natural that you would lose your bond to yourself.
Besides, feeling energetic, nourished, and healthy is often a key to being more self-aware. When you’re feeling sluggish due to poor lifestyle habits, you won’t have the faculties necessary to dedicate yourself to be in touch. So, nourish yourself by:
- Getting enough sleep
- Drinking enough water
- Cutting back on junk food
- Making healthier food choices
- Getting enough fresh air
- Taking breaks when you’re tired
- Maintaining a healthy work-life balance
5. Understand What Motivates You In Life
Everyday life can quickly make you lose track of what truly matters to you. It’s not uncommon to become derailed and lose sight of who you are, your values, and what your goals are in life. It sounds silly, but having a purpose is essential to stay connected with yourself.
Studies have found that being aware of and caring deeply about your motivation can help you regain control over your life, allowing you to better stay in touch with yourself and your desires. Losing sight of your motivations can lead to you falling out of line with the person you are within.
But this doesn’t just mean remembering your ambition. It means truly understanding what makes you tick. That means you:
- Know when you are happiest
- Are you capable of shifting focus if your initial goals no longer serve you?
- Know what makes you feel the most like yourself
- Break free from patterns that distract you from your motivations
- Feel that what you are doing is significant – if not to others, then at least to you
- Are you happy with how much you contribute to the world and the lives of others
- Feel certain in your identity, ambitions, and dreams
- Are growing, developing, and improving with time
6. Learn To Be By Yourself
Do you often feel lonely? Being alone is a very positive thing, and if you do it right, you can become more connected to yourself when you spend more time alone. Here are some tips for learning to be by yourself and why they help:
· Take Yourself On Dates
Ever tried hanging out with yourself? It’s common to put effort into dates and even spending time with friends, but you may not be used to doing so for yourself. Remember, you’re worthy of your very best dates! When you’re able to, set aside time to go out with yourself. Book a lovely table at a restaurant, buy some movie tickets, or rent a hotel room, just for you! Then, on the day itself, dress up nicely and treat yourself. Pampering yourself is a great way to realize that your own company has its many, many upsides!
· Rest In Silence
The world is noisy. With technology and responsibilities, everything is the hustle and bustle. It’s hard to stay connected to yourself amongst all the chaos and loudness, so make time to be silent. Take a few minutes away from all devices and sources of noise and simply sit. You can choose to meditate, daydream, or reflect in that time, but ultimately the goal is to be present, relieve yourself of worries and anxieties, and be patient in the quiet for a lull in the rush.
· Create A Space Just For You
Everyone needs a private space where they feel safe, content, and comfortable. You may think that it seems like a little bit of overkill to curate a sacred space for yourself, but it’s a great way to learn to be comfortable in your own company. Decorate that space how you like with things you love and spend time in it every day, even for a little while. It doesn’t have to be a big room or even an entire room – a little corner for yourself is all you need!
7. Stop Repressing Your Emotions
It goes without saying that you cannot connect with your emotions if you’re repressing them. Studies have long found that suppressing emotion decreasesd, worsening your overall psychological state while making negative feelings even more robust as a result!
If you do it automatically, it may be hard to pinpoint the exact signs of emotional repression. Here are some to be aware of:
- Your emotions tend to erupt suddenly or unexpectedly, often triggered by small or seemingly insignificant things and disproportionately to the current situation.
- You cannot control your emotions when they do burst forward, even though they don’t burst forward often.
- Experiencing a lot of exhaustion, stress, anxiety, and unhappiness, sometimes interfering with your sleep.
- Feeling like you’re subservient to your emotions. You have no choice but to do as they demand.
- You don’t have any method of expressing negative energy or stress, such as sports, an art form, or people to talk to.
If you relate to those statements, then you may be repressing your emotions. Start to learn to express them by getting better at self-awareness. Pay attention to yourself closely and name the feelings that you experience. Giving them names brings them to the forefront, allowing you to confront them. This is key to better understanding and connecting with your emotions.
Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Connect With Yourself And Your Emotions
Connecting to yourself is crucial for positive thinking, life progress, and overall wellbeing. After all, the only person you can truly count on 100% of the time is yourself. You’ll always be there for you, no matter how many others come and go in your life. As such, it’s time to step up to the plate and connect with who you truly are.