Does your friend seem to resent you all of a sudden? You are trying to grasp why they went from being your best buddy to a toxic person in your life.
Every friendship goes through seasons. Sometimes you’re inseparable, and there are other times where you can’t stand one another. As you grow in life, your opinions change, which is why some people are friends for just a season, and then you move on.
In some instances, a friend may hang on even though they have bitterness towards you. What could cause a person that you were once so close with to resent you? There are many reasons, but you must face the situation head-on if you want to salvage this relationship.
25 Signs Your Friend Resents You, Secretly
If you’re not 100 percent sure that they have resentment towards you, then there are some signs or red flags that can help. The subtle signs of a friend with hate or jealousy in their heart aren’t hard to spot if you’re watching closely. Here are 25 things a friend who is upset with you may do.
It doesn’t matter what you say or do; your friend is offended. A once charming and carefree person has become quite pretentious about any interaction they have with you. It isn’t easy to spend any time with them.
2. They Don’t Like to Go Out in Public Anymore
You would love to go to the movies or a nice dinner and chat about life. However, your friend doesn’t want to be seen in public with you anymore. Any interaction you have is on the phone or at home.
3. Conversations Are Short and About Surface Things
Forget those long and meaningful conversations that lasted for hours. Now, you’re lucky if you can get them to have a conversation with you about anything other than the weather. You feel as if it’s a bother for them to even speak to you.
4. You Agree on Nothing
If you want ice cream, they want gelato. If they spend time with you, you may find it hard to agree on anything. They seem very indifferent these days.
5. They Act Peculiar Around You
You can’t help but feel that something is off. It’s not anything they’ve said, but their actions are speaking much louder than their words. They act oddly.
6. You Hear They’re Gossiping about You
One sure way to find out if someone is mad at you is when you find out they’re gossiping about you. Some of the secrets you told them has come back through the grapevine. Additionally, some of the stuff you’ve been told they’ve said wasn’t pleasant.
7. They’re So Negative, You That It’s Really Not So Secret They Resent You
Your communication with them was always so positive that they were fun to talk to. However, now they spew negativity, and you find it hard even to carry on a conversation. Why are they so full of hate and pessimism?
8. When You Speak, They Ignore You
You try talking to them, either on the phone or in person, but they seem to ignore you. They don’t care what you have to say about anything. It’s evident how much they resent you when they act like this.
9. They Don’t Have Time for You
Even if you offered them an all-expense trip to the Caribbean, they would decline your invitation. They don’t have time for you because they don’t make time.
10. They Don’t Laugh at Your Jokes Anymore
They always loved your sense of humor before. But now your jokes land like a lead balloon. They give you an odd look and don’t even crack a smile.
11. The Arguments Are Becoming Continuous
Having fun together is out of the question, especially since everything out of your mouth starts an argument with them. You don’t know what you’re doing wrong, but it seems that everything you do is rubbing them the wrong way.
12. They Don’t Keep You in The Gossip Loop
They once shared gossip about others with you. But now they air your dirty laundry to others. They don’t tell you anything juicy, and you miss the details of all the town gossip.
13. Your Presence Irritates Them
You don’t even need to open your mouth, and they’re offended. They seem to be on edge and ready to pounce at the first thought or action that you do. They have a chip on their shoulder when it comes to you.
14. They No Longer Have Your Back
One thing you loved about this friend is that they always had your back. Now, it seems that they’re the ones that you need someone to protect you from. They resent you so much that they wouldn’t even care what happened to you.
Even when they’re clearly in the wrong, they refuse to apologize. They act like you deserved what you got. Their attitude is poor, and they seem to treat you in any old way.
16. They Have New Friends
One of the reasons they don’t have any time for you is because they have new friends. They seem to be enthralled with their new relationships and focus their energy on these new connections.
17. Their New Friends Don’t Like You
In a perfect world, you could hang out with their new friends as one big group. However, whenever you’ve tried to become friendly with their new connections, they act like you’re the fifth wheel.
18. They No Longer Share Their Life with You
You once knew what time they had breakfast and what they ate for dinner. Now, you two seem almost like strangers. You don’t know one thing about their day or week.
19. A Friend Who Resents You Might Block Your Phone Number
One sign that they resent you is if you try to call or text and your number is blocked. By the time they reach this stage, the relationship is pretty much doomed.
20. They Don’t Respond to Text Messages
You’ve texted and tried to talk or see what’s bothering them, but they won’t even respond to your messages. You might be able to see if they’ve read them, but they don’t have the courtesy even to answer you back.
21. You’ve Been Blocked on Social Media
All your social media accounts like Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram disappeared from your view. They’re not just no longer a friend, but it doesn’t even show them as a user. This action is one way you can know for sure that they blocked you.
22. A Person Who Feels Resent Might Blame You for Things You Didn’t Do
Whether at work or in social circles, your once close friend has begun to blame you for things. You know you didn’t do what you’re accused of, and you don’t understand why they want to get you in trouble.
23. You Catch Them in Lies
When they do have the courtesy to talk or answer a text, you catch them in lies. They may lie about where they’re going or who they’re with, but the deception is a clue something is wrong.
24. They’ve Become Insulting
Not only does their attitude and communication seem to be off, but they have become insulting to you. They may comment about your family, your attire, or 100 other things that they see wrong about you. A once chipper person suddenly seems so negative.
25. They’re Overly Suspicious of Your Motives
You feel like you’re being watched or monitored. No matter what you do or where you go, they seem to be suspicious of you. They give you a specific look that sends chills down your spine. You know they resent you for some reason.
How to Handle a Toxic Friend Who Resents You in Secret
If you believe that your friend is resentful of you, then you need to get to the bottom of it. Put on your thinking cap and try to remember anything that you might have done to offend them. When you have a mental list of things, then you need to confront them.
It may be problematic if they’re not answering you and have blocked you on social media. Apologize to them if you did anything wrong that is causing them to act this way. If they were a good friend to you in the past, then it’s worth working to have a bright future.
However, if their friendship wasn’t that great, then you still need to say you’re sorry and move on.
If you’ve been friends for a long time, there will be all sorts of issues that arise. The key is to work through them as soon as they occur so that the problems don’t grow and fester to the point where they resent you. It would help if you considered that even the best relationships could start healthy and turn toxic.
Sometimes, it’s best to clear the air and go your separate ways, especially if a line has been crossed and feelings have changed. Once a relationship turns negative, it takes a lot of work to get it back on track. However, if you’ve been friends for 20 years, it might be that you need some breathing room.
Resenting someone is serious, and it’s not going to be one apology, and all is forgotten. You must work through the pain and keep an optimistic outlook.